Everybody,
World AIDS Day just passed. I can't stress enough, I can't describe in words how much people in the world need YOU right now, this very second.
Today, 5,500 people--men, women, people just like us--will die because they couldn't get two little pills.
Two little pills that can keep them alive. Can you imagine not being able to do it yourself? To keep yourself alive? Can you imagine having to depend on something so tiny as a pill to keep you alive because your own body is giving up?
There are people in this world, this world that we are a part of, that need those pills to stay alive. But they can't do it on their own. They need us. They need you. I'll help too. And you and me, and my friends and your friends if you decide to talk about this, we can get somebody, any random person, we can get them those pills. We can keep somebody alive. And if there's one person who happens to be special, who happens to have a sense of purpose, and we kept them alive, that person can contribute something to their community, to their country, to our world. And their contribution to society will make our lives better.
It's not hard at all to help. Everybody is going to be shopping for gifts this month. (RED) products are not more expensive than regular products. So if you want to help, here's my suggestion as to what to do:
1. Go to www.joinred.com and learn about the idea behind (RED). Find out which companies are (RED).
2. When you go holiday shopping, make an effort to buy (RED) products rather than the regular products. A portion of the sale from every (RED) product goes to buying pills for people in Africa who have AIDS.
3. Tell your friends to do the same.
If you're still reading this, thank you so much. Thank you for your attention, because that tells me that you care, possibly as much as I do. We can do this if we work as a team. We can keep some really amazing people alive long enough for them to fulfill their purpose in life.
Thanks again,
Sonia
12.02.2006
11.09.2006
Strength and Purpose
Pleasures conceived in the world of the senses have a beginning and an end and give birth to misery...The wise do not look for happiness in them. But those who overcome the impulses of lust and anger that arise in the body are made whole and live in joy. They find their joy, their rest, and their light completely within themselves. United with the Lord, they attain nirvana in Brahman.
-Bhagavad Gita 5:22-24
I've been studying the Gita lately, and I've come across passages that I agree with and some that I either don't understand or disagree with. This one though, summarizes everything I know and feel and want others to know about Hinduism until now. It's so hard to overcome physical pleasure, but when I see how it is even harder for other people, I thank God that I have the strength to overcome at least some of life's many obstacles. I am one lucky girl.
God wants us to work ceaselessly for the benefit of the world without expectation of reward. How to deal with the derivatives associated with this...
What with the expectations of my family and the materialism that surrounds me. I could do it easily, if only no one were watching. That's where the obstacle is overcome. If you can work for the benefit of others ceaselessly in front of everyone, you have strength--immeasurable strength.
Someday...
-Bhagavad Gita 5:22-24
I've been studying the Gita lately, and I've come across passages that I agree with and some that I either don't understand or disagree with. This one though, summarizes everything I know and feel and want others to know about Hinduism until now. It's so hard to overcome physical pleasure, but when I see how it is even harder for other people, I thank God that I have the strength to overcome at least some of life's many obstacles. I am one lucky girl.
God wants us to work ceaselessly for the benefit of the world without expectation of reward. How to deal with the derivatives associated with this...
What with the expectations of my family and the materialism that surrounds me. I could do it easily, if only no one were watching. That's where the obstacle is overcome. If you can work for the benefit of others ceaselessly in front of everyone, you have strength--immeasurable strength.
Someday...
11.05.2006
Mad ramblings?
When did things start to get so bad in this world? The rampant, ceaseless, abhorrent exclusion that is everywhere (i.e. homosexuals, different races, certain castes, etc.") is making me weary and pessimistic of the life my kids will have. We're so caught up in what others will think that we stop ourselves from being human. We stop ourselves from doing things we naturally enjoy doing, simply because we're worried about our reputation. And our reputations turn into our legacies, what we leave behind; how people, fleeting in existence themselves, will remember our short time here. It's so sick. I feel so sick. Things like this have always existed. Social status, class, background, lifestyle; it's all so important to everybody and simultaneously so irrelevant. So why does it matter SO much to me??????
As children, we were told that if all the people in the world looked exactly the same, life would be boring.
I disagree.
I think that if all the people in the world looked exactly the same, we would all have a chance at being treated with respect and equality. We'd all belong. We'd all have the chance to be human. The point people miss is that, just because we'd all look exactly the same doesn't mean we'd all have the same personalities. We'd have different goals, different views. But that brings me back to the beginning. Different goals, different views would require exclusion. As Zygmunt Bauman said, "The emancipation of some calls for the suppression of others." I feel so sick.
No, that can't be right. I believe that human beings have the potential to be peaceful. People can and will someday learn to coexist peacefully, cooperatively.
It is in the genetic makeup of some to be competitive. Competition makes us lie, cheat, steal, and harm others to get what we want--to achieve our own goals without regard for the goals or wellbeing of others. Competition must be eliminated. Is that heaven? The absence of competition? Hunger? Jealousy? That's what Matisyahu says. What does Hinduism say? The real Hinduism? Not the Gita, not the Mahabharata. The Vedas. I need the Vedas.I need the truth.
Every night I hear people going through the garbage under my window.
Enough of my ramblings
As children, we were told that if all the people in the world looked exactly the same, life would be boring.
I disagree.
I think that if all the people in the world looked exactly the same, we would all have a chance at being treated with respect and equality. We'd all belong. We'd all have the chance to be human. The point people miss is that, just because we'd all look exactly the same doesn't mean we'd all have the same personalities. We'd have different goals, different views. But that brings me back to the beginning. Different goals, different views would require exclusion. As Zygmunt Bauman said, "The emancipation of some calls for the suppression of others." I feel so sick.
No, that can't be right. I believe that human beings have the potential to be peaceful. People can and will someday learn to coexist peacefully, cooperatively.
It is in the genetic makeup of some to be competitive. Competition makes us lie, cheat, steal, and harm others to get what we want--to achieve our own goals without regard for the goals or wellbeing of others. Competition must be eliminated. Is that heaven? The absence of competition? Hunger? Jealousy? That's what Matisyahu says. What does Hinduism say? The real Hinduism? Not the Gita, not the Mahabharata. The Vedas. I need the Vedas.I need the truth.
Every night I hear people going through the garbage under my window.
Enough of my ramblings
9.10.2006
Gone
I remember the last time I talked to him face to face. He was lying in a hospital bed. He looked very weak. She was seated next to him and we were seated across from them. The conversation turned to my future. I offered him my goals. He shot them down. Too much insurance, not enough money. Those were the two answers he had for me. As we left the hospital, I remember feeling my blood boil at how he'd just made me look like a fool whether he meant to or not. I remember my mom speaking poorly of him on the car ride home. I knew it was wrong, but I added to the heated conversation.
Two years later. I never got to tell him about urban planning. I wonder what would have been wrong with it.
Two years later. I never got to tell him about urban planning. I wonder what would have been wrong with it.
9.05.2006
Cowardice: It Runs in the Family
I knew there was something more to this; a dimension we didn't think to consider: It's not about what we want. It's about what he wanted. What was the great advantage, privilege, the great gift in seeing his body for one last time? If losing that hour-long opportunity meant fighting tooth and nail for him, then it's a sacrifice I'm sure we'd all have been willing to give.
There's still time. I wonder if they're up for the challenge. Perhaps we've been blinded by our own selfishness, but the question is one of whether we're willing to sacrifice our own wants one last time.
Why didn't anybody think of this before??
We sat around, blaming her for his death, blaming her for all the grief they caused our family, blaming her for what we're going through now. But I ask now, how are we better than her? We didn't even put up a fight. We chose to believe everything that came out of her thin, red lips because it was convenient for us. They said she'd be two steps ahead of us. How can we know that if we've never, not once, fought against her?
But why does it have to be a fight? Why can't it be the family, in its entirety, against this problem? She willed this; but a conversation in plain English might have lightened the load we'll all now carry for the rest of our lives. I don't know about anyone else, but I fear I too will die, never knowing what he really wanted. That doesn't sit right with me. I just want to talk to her--to ask her to grant us this one thing, and then she won't ever have to "deal" with us again. I could probably get her phone number. I won't get home tomorrow until 10pm. Am I destined to be helpless in this situation?
Why did nobody stand up to her before? Why, countless times, has she been allowed to spit words of pure hate in our faces, only to have us smile at her with respect the next time we see her...
Cowardice.
The only answer I have.
Everything else is extraneous, irrelevant, ignorant.
And another thing that's pissing me off: everybody keeps saying," He's in a better place." What the hell? We're Hindu! Every Hindu knows about reincarnation. He's not in a better place. He's here; starting all over again as whatever or whomever God wants his soul to be. Is it wrong to talk about that? That's not even the point right now, I guess. But then, what is the point? Why do we grieve, if not to ask questions about what is, what could have been, and what will be? There are so many questions I have (obviously) but nobody wants to talk about anything anymore, as if the grieving period is over.
I didn't cry in front of anyone. I've come close, but I know any attention will just make me cry more. It's better for this to be private. That's probably why I haven't been able to talk to anyone. Mom should know to talk to me. She hasn't even tried; I can't blame her, she's had to host this whole thing. I just caved tonight and started writing here.
There's still time. I wonder if they're up for the challenge. Perhaps we've been blinded by our own selfishness, but the question is one of whether we're willing to sacrifice our own wants one last time.
Why didn't anybody think of this before??
We sat around, blaming her for his death, blaming her for all the grief they caused our family, blaming her for what we're going through now. But I ask now, how are we better than her? We didn't even put up a fight. We chose to believe everything that came out of her thin, red lips because it was convenient for us. They said she'd be two steps ahead of us. How can we know that if we've never, not once, fought against her?
But why does it have to be a fight? Why can't it be the family, in its entirety, against this problem? She willed this; but a conversation in plain English might have lightened the load we'll all now carry for the rest of our lives. I don't know about anyone else, but I fear I too will die, never knowing what he really wanted. That doesn't sit right with me. I just want to talk to her--to ask her to grant us this one thing, and then she won't ever have to "deal" with us again. I could probably get her phone number. I won't get home tomorrow until 10pm. Am I destined to be helpless in this situation?
Why did nobody stand up to her before? Why, countless times, has she been allowed to spit words of pure hate in our faces, only to have us smile at her with respect the next time we see her...
Cowardice.
The only answer I have.
Everything else is extraneous, irrelevant, ignorant.
And another thing that's pissing me off: everybody keeps saying," He's in a better place." What the hell? We're Hindu! Every Hindu knows about reincarnation. He's not in a better place. He's here; starting all over again as whatever or whomever God wants his soul to be. Is it wrong to talk about that? That's not even the point right now, I guess. But then, what is the point? Why do we grieve, if not to ask questions about what is, what could have been, and what will be? There are so many questions I have (obviously) but nobody wants to talk about anything anymore, as if the grieving period is over.
I didn't cry in front of anyone. I've come close, but I know any attention will just make me cry more. It's better for this to be private. That's probably why I haven't been able to talk to anyone. Mom should know to talk to me. She hasn't even tried; I can't blame her, she's had to host this whole thing. I just caved tonight and started writing here.
8.09.2006
Overwhelmed again
It's 1:45am. I'm supposed to have 5 chapters for my two classes read by friday at the latest. It's now Wednesday, and I only have 1 chapter done. I bought two new notebooks today, and one of them is wide-ruled, so I can't use it. Someone very important is very sick. My parents are mad at me (nothing new). I can't find my glasses. I was supposed to be going to the gym everyday this week, and I haven't gone at all. What's more, I'm afraid I won't go tomorrow morning. I think I'm gaining weight again. The pressure is piling up on me and I just wish my parents would lay off, because that would help a lot.
My aunt is coming up from L.A. this weekend to a nearby airport, and my parents don't trust me to pick her up by myself. I pretty much expected it, but now I'm thinking: Blind people, people who can't read, people who don't speak English, they can get through an airport. I can see and I'm not illiterate, and they don't think I'll know which parking lot to go into. Is this really the image my parents have of me? Is this what I show them? That's sick. Pathetic. I don't have time to worry about that.
I have to get a lot of important work done tomorrow, but I really really really need to get to the gym.
I feel so sick right now. Sick with worry. I wish I didn't have to go home this weekend. I wish I didn't have to work. I wish my parents didn't know my schedule so I could stay here and catch up on everything. I want to pull my hair out. I have to go to the gym tomorrow, to release this frustration, anger, fear, worry if to accomplish nothing else. I won't be able to sleep tonight, that's something I don't need with a 2 hour midmorning class and a 3 hour evening class tomorrow. Where are my glasses???
I'm going to try to get something done.
My aunt is coming up from L.A. this weekend to a nearby airport, and my parents don't trust me to pick her up by myself. I pretty much expected it, but now I'm thinking: Blind people, people who can't read, people who don't speak English, they can get through an airport. I can see and I'm not illiterate, and they don't think I'll know which parking lot to go into. Is this really the image my parents have of me? Is this what I show them? That's sick. Pathetic. I don't have time to worry about that.
I have to get a lot of important work done tomorrow, but I really really really need to get to the gym.
I feel so sick right now. Sick with worry. I wish I didn't have to go home this weekend. I wish I didn't have to work. I wish my parents didn't know my schedule so I could stay here and catch up on everything. I want to pull my hair out. I have to go to the gym tomorrow, to release this frustration, anger, fear, worry if to accomplish nothing else. I won't be able to sleep tonight, that's something I don't need with a 2 hour midmorning class and a 3 hour evening class tomorrow. Where are my glasses???
I'm going to try to get something done.
7.09.2006
Mr. McDreamy
I recently had a weird dream:
I got married to the most gorgeous guy: chiseled jaw, washboard abs, perfect skin, pecs you could use as plates, the whole nine yards.
So, we get married, (which is approximately where my dream started), come back to where the family was for the wedding (they’ve all left by now for the reception), and I somehow find out that he’s slept with lots of other girls before. The dream ends. I know there’s a part of me that watched way too much “Sex and the City” that night, but the surprise in the dream really got me thinking. How well do you really know a person when your marriage with them is arranged?
So, I’ve been freaking out about this dream for the past month or so, wondering if I should talk to my mom about it. In the end, I decided not to talk to her about it. It’d just be too weird. Instead, I thought about what I would say if my own daughter asked me something like that. Here’s what I came up with:
“You don’t. You just trust that God will make it all okay. You have to believe that you’ve just found the love of your life. If that doesn’t end up being true, then you have to move on. But everything happens for a reason. If you have to go through that, then God wanted you to go through that. Whatever happens, whether you’re happy or not, you’ll end up being a smarter, more mature person because of your experiences. Those qualities are things that nobody can mess up.”
I got married to the most gorgeous guy: chiseled jaw, washboard abs, perfect skin, pecs you could use as plates, the whole nine yards.
So, we get married, (which is approximately where my dream started), come back to where the family was for the wedding (they’ve all left by now for the reception), and I somehow find out that he’s slept with lots of other girls before. The dream ends. I know there’s a part of me that watched way too much “Sex and the City” that night, but the surprise in the dream really got me thinking. How well do you really know a person when your marriage with them is arranged?
So, I’ve been freaking out about this dream for the past month or so, wondering if I should talk to my mom about it. In the end, I decided not to talk to her about it. It’d just be too weird. Instead, I thought about what I would say if my own daughter asked me something like that. Here’s what I came up with:
“You don’t. You just trust that God will make it all okay. You have to believe that you’ve just found the love of your life. If that doesn’t end up being true, then you have to move on. But everything happens for a reason. If you have to go through that, then God wanted you to go through that. Whatever happens, whether you’re happy or not, you’ll end up being a smarter, more mature person because of your experiences. Those qualities are things that nobody can mess up.”
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